Tag Archives: DDH-Afternoon

The Poetry of Spam?

Just back from making sure this week’s posts at The Recipes Project are ready to go. When I began editing the blog, I was amazed by the variety of spam comments it receives. The usual junk links appear regularly, of course. The most common ones tend to offer seemingly constructive advice (e.g. your spelling is terrible; your platform loads/doesn’t load quickly; your post is wonderful; your post is wrong) or asking for advice (e.g. what platform do you use?). These sorts of comments might almost appear to be meaningful, but for the links to (say) faux-designer pages.

My favourite type of spam, though, are the stream of consciousness ones. I had hoped to find a good example today, but sadly, I have not received a creative one in a while. Read aloud, they become almost poetic, giving the sense of some concealed meaning beneath its rambling. Apart, of course, from their dodgey links and commenter names.

Lacking a recent example, I’ll provide you with an older one that I turned into a poem. My own additions are included in square parentheses. The text, including the title, is otherwise exactly as it appeared in the spam comment.

Port Coquitlam Wedding

Combining exercise
with the diet may
be the most effective way to
lose weight.

[I know, she sighs, eating her doughnut,
brushing the crumbs from her neckline.]

Another cat came to my house. The sun comes up in the east.

[They always do. They always do.]

I heard that you’re getting marriedHe is physically mature.

There is a TV show about AIDS on right now
There is a TV show about AIDS on right now

[She looks away,
brow furrowed.]

There are many stars in the sky.

You’d better
let her alone.

[And she wearily begins to type.]

I regret
to inform you that we are unable to offer you
employment.